She Came Looking Sexy, So I Fell For Her — A Commentary For World Radio Day 2021
If I got a dollar for every time I’ve been complimented for my voice and why I “should become a radio presenter,” I’d probably be a billionaire in US Dollars already.
Sadly, I’m not a billionaire. Not even close to being called a millionaire. The kind of people always furnishing my ego with these compliments are far too unkind to furnish my aza as well, but I leave them to God because it’s not them I’ve come to drag today.
I actually haven’t come to drag anyone.
I come bearing praises and to share stick-sweets to some amazing talents, whose entrance into my life has it feeling a little less gloomy.
Today is World Radio Day and, as a big lover/consumer of radio content, I thought it’d be cool if I could share a little story about how I fell in love with the radio.
It’s June 2009 and I’m a little scared boy worrying about the future and what comes next. Actually, I knew what was coming, but I am in denial, too scared to admit to myself that I’d soon be returning to the Boarding House to face the wrath of some wicked seniors waiting to deal with the incoming “fresh blood” for the very basic reason that the same thing was done to them during their time. If you went to a Lagos State Government-owned Secondary School around that era, you’d better understand what I’m talking about here — how JS 1–3 and SS1–3 students are in the same compound but have different sets of school administrators, which meant that SS1 was the name but it was like repeating JS1 all over again. One day we’ll also talk about the extreme sport that is attending a boarding school in Nigeria, especially in the pre-2010 years. It’s a hellish experience!
Back to the gist. I’d recently finished my Junior WAEC exams and like most people my age, I had more time in my hands than my tiny brain could think up mischievous things to fill it up with. Rather than stay busy with the anxiety stemming from my fear of resuming school in September, I decided to try and find solace in the same ritual I’d seen my dad do every morning before going to work — listen to the radio.
I really can’t remember my inspiration for taking such a weird step, but I think it came from the fact that I was tired of waiting for my long-promised desktop computer to finally arrive (spoiler alert: it never did. I was scammed!) and that I wasn’t yet a fan of “American feems”.
So, rather than feel sorry for me, I decided to carry out a one-man heist and break into my dad’s room like the upcoming Hoodlum that I was at that time. I remember feeling so proud of myself for being able to make such a bold move. Trust me, it was no easy feat. I turned on the radio and fiddled with the knob until it landed on the soothing voice of a lady, the best I’d ever heard in my life up until that point. I can easily blame my raging hormones for it now, but back then it was a big deal. The feeling was euphoric and I just couldn’t believe my luck. I’d heard an Angel speak and my ears didn’t burn out. How???
I think I had my first eargasm there. I later found out the lady’s name was Matse, and that she was one of the Angels Heaven had sent to man its branch at Wazobia FM to help keep the men of Lagos in order. One chance! 😆
That was how I began my career in radio listening. Every day, once everyone had left the house, I’d sneak back into my dad’s room to take his radio just in time to hear Matse breathe life into the dull air that was the life I was living, and maybe learn a thing or two about life and the correct pronunciation of some English words I’d been finding difficult. Not like I cared for the latter, but it was a good excuse to keep returning than admitting to myself that I was falling for a faceless woman. How was I going to explain that to my friends? 🥴🤷🏽♂️
It’s been almost 12 years since that first encounter. I no longer hear Matse speak, I don’t think she’s even on radio anymore (it’s a long story. Maybe some other time), but every day since meeting this faceless woman with the golden voice, my appreciation for radio, speech eloquence, and the craft of public speaking has only grown.
With today being an exceptional day for radio, I thought it best to give a shout-out to some of the best Nigerian OAPs and radio stations I’ve had the pleasure of listening to. So I won't bore you reading this, and because they’re too many, I’ll group them by their FM stations and sprinkle plenty et als all over the place.
Happy radio day:
- Wazobia 95.1 FM: Matse, Yaw, Lolo 1, Diplomatic OPJ, Twi-Twi, et al.
- Cool FM (my current favorite): Mannie, Daddy Freeze, Kaylah, N6 of Life, Mahogany, Eve, Dotun, Taymi-B, Kemi Smallz & Dan Foster (I listened to these two when they were still at City FM Lagos. RIP, Dan Foster), et al.
- Dream FM, 92.5 Enugu: Gloria Orji Emodi, Jude Thomas Dawam, Oma the Duchess, et al.
- Nigerian Info: Sanra Ezekwesili, Quadri, et al.
- Naija 102.7 FM: Temitope, Godwin, Ajebo, Moyo, et al.
- Rhythm 93.7 FM: Chuks & Abby of Bar Gist, Omalicha, IK, et al.
- Super FM: Urenna et al.
… and many more I can’t remember at this time.
Thank you all for the many happy memories ❤ and for your contributions in improving the way I speak today. I plan to launch a podcast this year and you guys are a huge part of why that’s going to be possible. Because of you all, radio has had deeper, personal meanings; it’s brought me many joys, blessings, and opportunities for which I’m grateful.
Happy baiday to every radio lover out there, and everyone with a golden voice. 🔥
Radio will never die.
Happy Radio Day, 2021. ❤❤❤📻